November Scripture
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
-Philippians 4:4-6
2023 has been one of the most foundational years of my life and yet simultaneously one of the hardest. I found myself worshipping with all my heart, but desperate for change. During it all, God taught me something very vital for my faith - how He forms our hearts into His likeness.
I started my journey to becoming a Pastor a little over a year ago, and I never expected the amount of change that would happen in just 365 days. For the first time I had endurance, confidence, and hope. I wanted desperately to tell others of Jesus and how He had impacted my life, and how He hasn’t been quiet! I was learning so much, but everyone knows where there is light, there is also darkness.
A budding faith comes with the growing pains of spiritual warfare, distractions, doubts, fears, and anxieties. As quickly as God started to build up my character, more in His likeness, I also allowed enemy to cut me down. Where I was swimming with peace and joy, I was swimming in fear with no rest in sight.
It was one thing after another.
I was kicked out (HOA is a pain)
I did not have enough money for gas.
I had to choose between bills and food.
I lost an entire group of friends - completely cut off despite the years of knowing each other.
My marriage was shattering under immense pressure.
I attended funerals of unexpected deaths.
I helped someone remarkably close to me navigate a new future after a planned suicide.
I was lonely, and most of all I hated where God had left me (or so I thought).
Philippians 4:6 played repeatedly in my mind.
I could be thankful and give praise to God despite the circumstances. The Holy Spirit kept reminding me that it was going to be ok and that He would always take care of me. But I could not help but ignore it all and instead pleaded with God to change or undo what had been done. I did not want to worry anymore. I did not want to be sad or angry. I just wanted everything to be ok. So how was I supposed to bring my requests to God when He was not listening?
Then it happened.
One night, I woke up at 3:00 AM with an urgency to pray. As I sat there in the middle of the room, my phone shuffled to a song that I had never heard before titled YESHUA, by Jesus Image. All I could do was cry out and sing along as tears fell onto the carpet. As I prayed I realized, this was the name He claimed, and it means to deliver, to save, to rescue.
Saying His name repeatedly allowed my spirit to breathe. God's presence was so near as I began to pray protection over my family, my friends, my church, my future, and my ministry. It was a moment of soaking in His Spirit, and the beginning of my renewed faith. Only then was I was ready to hear what He had spoken over me...
Despite being kicked out, I ended up in a rent-free home where I could find His peace and rest.
I had money for gas to travel all around the city and be a part of so many amazing opportunities to love others, serve others, and lead as a pastor. Food was not only provided but prepared every night, so I could focus on school, prayer, and my studies.
I’ve made so many more friends than the amount I lost, and these friends push me, provide support in ways that bring me joy, understanding, and encouragement.
I started counseling, where God showed me how to be a better friend, daughter, and wife.
He showed me how to be a true image bearer in my home and in my relationships.
He showed me how to share His unconditional love to others even despite the circumstances.
He showed me how to embrace being made in His image, and how to love myself again.
I was so focused on what I was losing and what I had to do without, that I missed God’s handprint on it all. He had already rescued me. He didn’t just give me peace, He gave me freedom! More importantly, He taught me how to endure the tough times by focusing on Him instead of the chaos. It’s like spinning in circles but finding a stationary point to focus on, so you don’t get dizzy!
I finally understood and was living out those verses and what they were trying to teach me.
We rejoice in the Lord not because we should, but because He is omniscient.
He has always had a plan, even when He shared his name, Yeshua, for the first time.
And we are a part of that same plan that Moses, Abraham, Ezekiel, David, Job, and JESUS have been a part of. So, rejoice!
Allow Him to expand and reshape your heart and understanding. Seek His presence through prayer and petition, and NEVER stop praying! It produces peace and simplicity in our lives, which in the end guards our hearts to endure it all!
“My beloved is the most beautiful. Among thousands, and thousands.”
“Yeshua! Yeshua!”
“And yours is the Kingdom, yours is the power, yours is the glory forever, Amen.”
Song, Yeshua by Jesus Image.
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